Earlier today, at their Cupertino headquarters, Apple announced the latest entry in their â€œiâ€ product line. Named the i_______ (pronounced â€œeye blankâ€), it allows customers to take their ideas for an iDevice, and make them official. â€œFor years, weâ€™ve been creating lustworthy gadgets that make friends, coworkers and complete strangers envious,â€ Steve Jobs explained in a press release. â€œToday, we are giving customers the ability to keep the people in their lives constantly envious, driving home the power of Appleâ€™s innovation.â€
The i_______ contains no electronics, and isnâ€™t an actual working version of a customerâ€™s idea. Instead, it is a sturdy, laminated piece of cardboard mounted on a solid aluminum back. The front features typical Apple minimalism, showing only your chosen i-product name, what it does, and when your idea was officially recognized by Apple. An idea plus three features is priced at $299. Additional features can be added for $49 each.
Only a few media representatives were allowed into the unveiling at Apple’s headquarters, ensuring they were the first to lay eyes on the product. Initial responses were positive.
"I’ve actually had an i_______ for a week now," admitted The Wall Street Journal’s Walt Mossberg, much to the envious glances of other nearby journalists. "While it looks simple — just a sheet of cardboard declaring your official i-product concept — it takes on a whole new meaning when it’s in your hands. It becomes personal."
Surprisingly, the i_______ was available for purchase today, and lines have already started forming at Apple Stores across the United States. While select members of the media got the first look, it wasnâ€™t long before everyone else got their chance to see Appleâ€™s latest innovation.
Paul Thurrott, who runs the Windows SuperSite, offered a more measured response. â€œQuite simply, the i_______ is an evolution, not a revolution. It was only a matter of time before Apple moved beyond material objects, and into the realm of ideas, dreams and vaporware.â€ While Thurrott generally seemed impressed after buying an i_______ of his own, he found it difficult to ignore several shortcomings. In particular, Thurrott noted that, â€œâ€¦. Apple still hasnâ€™t learned anything from the iPad. The i_______â€™s glossy, laminated front made it impossible to read in direct sunlight.â€
Many happy customers were leaving Appleâ€™s stores, even hours after they initially went on sale. Unlike the iPad 2, there appears to be plenty of stock. Customers were showing off their concepts for iAlarms, iCars and even iSpoons.
Marcel Jones, from Nashua, NH, was one of the early adopters. â€œItâ€™s amazing! No other company lets you turn your ideas into something physical and real, in such an easy and innovative way. But Apple does, and itâ€™s going to change the game forever!â€
Mr. Jones did realize one possible issue with the i_______, however. â€œWhile obsolescence is always a problem, it seems particularly bad when your imagination is in charge. For example, for my iToaster, it would be perfect if there was a WiFi module that could send real time updates about your toasting adventure straight to your computer.â€
Realizing he had just made his own newly-purchased i_______ obsolete, Mr. Jonesâ€™ smile quickly faded.